


Blind Date

by Speedforce1229



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6361078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speedforce1229/pseuds/Speedforce1229
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey celebrates her first Valentine's Day with a blind date. She wasn't expecting the man she defeated to be there as well. Crack one shot, just screwing around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Date

I do not own Star Wars or the characters. Like everything else good in this world, Disney owns it all. This is what happens when I have to much time on my hands.

“Good evening. My name is Rey. I believe I have a reservation …”

“Of course ma’am. Your table is ready for you.” the service droid informed her, turning quickly and moving at a higher than casual pace. Luckily Rey had forgone high heels in favor of her sandals and simple white trousers and tan tunic, in the event she ran into any trouble. The Padawan noticed the restaurant seemed quite crowded, not surprising considering it was Valentine’s Day, but the cast of characters was colorful to say the least. Rey focused on her upcoming date as she followed the droid to a private room in the back of the restaurant. She had never been on one before and to say she was nervous would be an understatement. Master Luke had taught her many meditation techniques over the past few months and none were working right now. Still her feet followed the droid, determined to follow through with this engagement with a man she had never even seen. She prayed to the Maker he might look like Dameron Poe. Not that Rey was only concerned about physical appearance. Growing up on Jakku, she had learned to lower her expectations in regard to the physical attractiveness of men. 

“Here you are ma’am.” the mechanical voice informed her, pulling her out of her musings. She had been so deep in thought, Rey had completely missed the strong signature of the Dark Side of the Force in front of her.

“You!” Rey hissed.

“Hello Scavenger.” Kylo Ren greeted her, leaning back in his chair with a slight grin on his face. “I brought you flowers, not that they are as beautiful as you.”

Kylo reached out with the bouquet of red lillies he had sent a brigade of Storm Troopers to gather from Naboo. Instead of being impressed, Rey stepped back and pulled her lightsaber, the blue light brightening the private room the two were now alone in. Raising the saber she prepared to battle.

“I was under the impression we were here for a dinner date, not another duel. Is this how you greet all your dates?” Ren asked.

“I am not here for a date with you! What have you done with the gentleman I was supposed to meet here? How did you know I would be here?” Rey took another step back and focused on feeling the Force flow through her, calming her and clearing her thoughts. The situation was dangerous but she could handle this. Reaching out with her mind, she searched for the presence of Storm Troopers but found none.

“I m the one who answered your singles ad. You really didn’t know?”

“How are you possibly a member of JedisOnly .Com? You aren’t a Jedi.”

“Techincally Jedi are supposed to be celebate. You are the only female member. Come to think of it, besides my Uncle who I’m sure you are calling Master by this point, I’m not sure there are any Jedis alive. An unintelligent business decision by the website developer, not much of a nose for business, that one. You would think his name was Yoda, if Yoda wasn’t busy being a tiny green frog ghost.”

Kylo reached out with the Force and the chair in front of Rey pulled back from the table. With a nod of his head, he offered her a seat. Deciding the wannabe Sith had no plans to attack at the moment, and she was hungry for something besides fish or portions Rey disengaged her light saber and slowly took a seat, her eyes never leaving her foe.

“So why did you want to see me?” she tried again.

“Why did you want to see me?” Kylo countered.

“I didn’t! I had no idea this was date was with you or I never would have agreed.” Rey told him, offended that he would believe she would want to share space with this Bantha fodder. The bouquet was lovely though. Red lillies from Naboo were generally considered the most beautiful in the galaxy.

“My user name was VaderRoxxx. You really had no idea? I find it hard to believe you could be that stupid, scavenger.”

Rey frowned, admitting to herself he had a point. The name had seemed suspicious, considering it was a Jedi dating site.

“I may have had my suspicions, but I didn’t think even you would sink this low, impersonating a single Jedi and ruining the first Valentine’s Day I have ever celebrated off Jakku.”

“This is the first Valentine’s Day you have ever celebrated, girl.” Kylo challenged her, knowing how innocent the padawan was after being in her mind.

“Yes and it will probably be your last. How has your love life been since I improved your face on Starkiller? The scarface look you have going is very nice. At least I gave you a legitimate excuse to wear that ridiculous helmet.”

“My helmet is not ridiculous! It is fear inducing and intimidating!”

“Ohh scary, are you going to destroy the tables in the room? I know how big you are on tantrums.” Rey giggled, reliving the last date the two had during which she thoroughly kicked his ass.

Kylo recognized her teasing and forced himself to calm down. He wanted a nice evening and would not let this damn infuriating, but so beautiful, girl bait him.

“I don’t believe we need to bring up bad memories tonight. Let’s talk about more pleasant things.” Ren suggested.

“Bad memories are all we have.” Rey pointed out fairly. “Let’s see, the first time I met you, you kidnapped me, I woke up in a torture chair, strapped down I might add. Freak much? Oh yes, you tried to read my mind only for me to mentally bitch slap your ass and remind you that you will never be the theme music playing when entering the room awesomeness that was Darth Vader. I easily escaped your prison, using a Jedi Mind trick I learned in seconds that Master Luke informed me took you a year to learn…”

“That was blind luck! BJB-007 is a very weak minded Storm Trooper!” Kylo defended, not liking his uncle telling Rey of his shortcomings.

“What else happened? Right, I saw you kill your unarmed father who was only trying to help you. A great man who I considered a father. Did you know he once told me after he gave me my first blaster that I was the child he always wished he had?” Rey asked, curious if Kylo showed any guilt over his actions.

“He said that?”

“Yep. He also told me that I flew the Falcon as if I was born in her.” Rey told him proudly.

“He let you fly the Falcon, while he was in it? He never let me fly!”

“Probably because you have the reflexes of a slug. Let’s get back to discussing our last date. You chased me in the forest and instead of being a man and fighting me straight up, you Force threw me into a tree. That hurt! Then you nearly killed my best friend, tried to steal my lightsaber…”

“That saber is rightfully mine!” Ren shouted.

“The saber didn’t think so! Besides, it belonged to Master Luke who told me I could keep it, so it is mine. Even Master Anakin told me it should belong to me.”

“Master … Anakin? You spoke to Darth …”

“No, I spoke to the ghost of Anakin Skywalker. You do realize he is the one who turned back to the light and killed Palpatine correct? It was called Return of the Jedi for a reason. Regardless, yes I have spoken with many Jedi ghosts. They are having a good laugh at your expense. The consensus is that you are less intimidating than Count Dooku, not an easy feat. While we are on the subject, Master Anakin wanted me to ask you the next time we met if you would stop telling the Galaxy you are related to him. He has a reputation as a Jedi and Sith to uphold and you are helping neither.”

“Screw him. All of them think they are so cool. My training is nearly complete and I will be an awesome Sith.” Ren told her, trying to gain a bit of respect from the beautiful desert dweller he had a crush on since the first time he knocked her out.

“Yes, of course. You only trained your entire life and I defeated you five minutes after the first time I swung a lightsaber. If the planet had not split apart I would have finished you off.” Rey bragged, though unable to forget how cute he had been, lying at her feet with that puppy dog look on what was left of his face.

“I was shot!”

“And I had a concussion because you threw me into a damn tree! At least I wasn’t hitting my head over and over again. Why were you pounding on your wound again?”

“Pain is a tool of the Dark Side, it helped me focus.”

“Helped you out quite a bit apperently. Not to worry though, the scar is an actual improvement. You were a bit too pretty for a villian before. Your welcome.” Rey told him and winked, leaning back and perusing the menu.

Ren said nothing, desperately thinking of a way to gain some level of control during this date, while pretending to look at the menu. Finally an idea struck him.

“Would you like me to order for the both of us?” Kylo offered.

Rey raised an eyebrow and choked back a laugh.

“Why would I want you to order my food? I think we have established which on of us is the top in whatever this is that we have. How is your Master doing? Are you still bowing before his giant hologram? Why does he have such a large hologram of himself? Master Luke says he is probably compensating for something, but I’m not really sure what that means. Does Snookie still want me to join him so he can replace you?”

“His name is Supreme Leader Snoke and no, he hasn’t mentioned you in quite a while. We have been focused on my training, something for you to think about.”

“Yes, I’m shaking in my sandals.” Rey told him, placing her menu down, deciding on the Gartro egg salad sandwich.

The waiter droid arrived and took both the orders. Rey ordered a Nerf stew in addition to the sandwich.

“Hungry?” Ren asked.

“Uh, I grew up surving on minimal, bland food that I worked all day to get. Yes, I stay hungry. Problem?”

“Absolutely not. I really want this to be special. I am hoping we can put the past behind us for at least tonight.” Kylo told her, giving Rey the scarred puppy dog look again. She let out a sigh, admitting since he was paying for dinner it would not kill her to be nice. Even on his best day, the Sith wannabe could not take her so there really was no reason to be guarded.

“Fine, I apologize. We do have a complicated history full of violence and death, but there is no reason we cannot be civil. How has your Sith training been going? Figured out the Sith lightning thing yet?”

Ren huffed. “It’s not as easy as it looks. I’m thinking of foregoing it and just buying a taser.”

“The type that has the prongs and wires so you can shock an enemy from a distance?” Rey asked, interested.

“Yes. I know Sith lightning is supposed to be a Dark Side trademark but Darth Vader never really needed it. It’s probably more of a supreme leader thing. Force choking is a classic that never really gets old and is effective for intimidation.”

“Don’t give up so easily. I know I give you a hard time but you can do it if you really put your mind to it.” Rey encouraged.

“You really believe that?”

“Yes I do. I didn’t think I could lift that six ton boulder and toss it one hundred yards with my mind, but after an hour of practice I had it down. Don’t quit trying and have a little faith in yourself, Kylo. This whole low self esteem issue you have is limiting your potential as a villian.”

“I’m sorry, did you say you lifted a six ton boulder with your mind?”

“Yep.” Rey told him proudly, enjoying the respect on his face.

“Impressive. So your training is going well on … what planet are you training on? I forget.”

“Nice try Kylo, but I am not really interested in being bombed by the First Order during meditation time. Besides aren’t you guys too busy trying to build a new planet Death Star thing?”

“Actually right now, the budget is a bit tight so we are holding off construction. It seems like every time the forces of evil build something like that and destroy a couple planets the damn Resistence destroys it anyway. Those guys are real buzzkills.”

“Hey, don’t talk about them like that. Your Mom is really cool. She’s like the mother I never had.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to see a pattern here.”

“You don’t want her and I do. She wants a kid who doesn’t try to kill her or blow up entire systems. It works for both of us. Plus she is great at showing me different hairstyles. We braid each others hair a lot.”

“How nice for you. So I was wondering since we live a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away from Great Britian, why do you sound like you are doing your best impression of Keira Knightley?”

Rey shrugged her shoulders. Obi Wan’s ghost had told her he had to deal with this question as well.

“Not really sure. Why do you sound like Napolean Dynamite?” Rey countered.

“Who?”

“Just some guy Master Luke showed me in a holovid. Interesting chap, Napolean. Master Luke insists Napolean exhibits all the positive traits a Jedi should have.”

“Is he handsome?”

“Of course,” Rey lied. 

“Speaking of Master Luke, I am a bit surprised he allowed you to attend this date. He always stressed that Jedi must be focused on the order and push emotions aside.”

“I was surprised as well, but he practically pushed me to date. He was actually the one who set up the account. Apparently he is concerned that if I don’t date I could eventually have a secret marriage, have nightmares about my husband dying and turn to the Dark Side to save him. I couldn’t imagine ever doing that just to save some man but he is very wise so if he says date, I date.”

“I am glad to hear he has loosened up. So I was wondering if you have given any thought to my offer to teach you?”

Rey spit out the water she had been sipping. “Have you lost your mind? I thought we already established which of us is the hero and who is going to have his body cut to pieces after all is said and done?”

“The power of the Dark Side wasn’t exactly what I had in mind to teach you.” Kylo told her seductively. Rey’s face froze for a few moments as she came to grips with what he was actually offering. As if that would happen.

He did have a great body though. The scar actually made him look a bit better, rougher, manlier. Yes, his forehead and nose seemed a bit large for his face but he did have beautiful eyes and great hair.

No, this was not happening.

“You honestly expect me to have sex with you?” she finally asked, genuinely curious if he was serious. If he was, she gave him points towards trying to deal with his low self esteem issues.

“Rey at least 75% of the Star Wars fandom is shipping us. It’s going to happen and you and I both know this. Why fight what is obviously going to occur eventually? We are young, have potential for epic hate sex, you enjoy dominating me, I think you are beautiful, you fascinate me, why shouldn’t we?”

“75% of the fandom may be shipping us but the other 25% are shipping you and General Hux. Is that going to happen as well? Do you play on both sides of the Force, Kylo?”

“No! I can’t control who ships who!”

“No, but you think because the galaxy ships us that we should have sex. I mean really? I’m not saying ever but I am not a first date kind of girl. Actually since I have never been on an actual date I’m not sure what kind of girl I am. I admit you are somewhat attractive in a weird way, but…”

“Are you sure? The two of us, alone, no expectations, just seeing how comfortable we are with each other? You know I am full of demons, you are full of demons, think of the angst and sensuality of the two of us together Rey. You can’t save the galaxy all the time. Don’t you want to relax a bit? I promise no light sabers. The only saber in the room…”

“Don’t go there.” Rey told him quickly, heading off that tragic pick up line.

“No problem, my bad, it was lame. But you aren’t the least bit tempted?” Kylo asked again. He could feel her emotions and knew she was curious. Despite her lowly garments she was stunning. Since the first time Ren saw her, he knew she was the one for him. To his delight Rey shrugged her shoulders and grinned a bit.

“I did bring an outfit, in case things went… well.” she admitted.

“Really? Tell me about it, please.” Kylo suggested, feeling her considering his offer seriously now.

“Its sort of a dancing outfit. The top is just a skimpy metal bikini top, and there is a sheer long skirt that starts below my navel and barely covers my front or back. There are no sides to the skirt so my thighs are completely bare.” Rey admitted, blushing a little.

Kylo grew hard at the thought of her in this outfit.

“Tell me more, please Rey.” he begged.

“It has a metal collar with a chain, basically a very skimpy slave girl outfit. Would you really like to see me in it?”

“Oh yes.” Ren rasped.

“Okay. You should probably know I borrowed it from your mother.”

Kylo felt as if a million gallons of cold water had been dumped on his head. 

Rey was unable to hold back her laughter at his quickly paling face.

“I suppose I should ask for the check.” he finally admitted after Rey’s laughter had died down. “Do you think we could go out again? Despite your tendancy to borrow my mother’s clothes, I do like you Rey, and think we could be good together if you give us a chance.”

Rey sighed, not wanting to destroy the man but needing to get out of this as gracefully as possible.

“Kylo, let’s face reality. The odds are after Episode IX there is going to be a great disturbance in the fanfiction world due to millions of fics being edited to include unintentional incest warnings. We should really just avoid the whole thing. It’s for the best.”

Kylo pondered the wisdom of her words and could see where she was coming from. He definitely did not want to repeat the mistakes his Uncle and mother made when they first met.

“Fine, but if it turns out that we aren’t related…”

“Don’t worry Kylo. We will see each other again, I promise.” Rey told him, taking his hand from across the table.

“We will?”

“Yes. I will be the woman dressed in head to toe black, holding a green lightsaber and kicking you and your master’s asses. It will be fun. Thank you for a lovely night.” Rey stood up with a soft smile and walked away, leaving Kylo sitting alone and talking to himself.

“Yes we will see each other again, Rey. You most likely will destroy me … but I plan to enjoy every moment of it.”


End file.
